Ugliness Within

Do you feel clean inside?  Or are there times that ugliness seems to be lurking inside of you.  And then there comes along an event, moment, or something that brings this ugliness to the surface.  

It happened to me today.  Taxes.  That is what started it.  Don't you just hate this time of year when you are pressured to have your taxes done.  I pay me taxes, that's not the problem, but I'm not the most organized person and I always have to search to find everything I need.  

That's when it happened.  I found an account that I was being charged for.  I looked in bewilderment at the statement.  How could they charge me while they are using my money.  I feel like I have been robbed.  Why didn't I notice it before?  10 years.  That's how long it's been happening...and I was never observant enough to see it.  

That's when the ugliness came out  I blamed my husband.  Why you ask?  I file the statements.  My husband never even opens them.  Ever...   He pays the monthly bills.  I never see these bills.   I want to share in this responsibility.  He says he wants me to be a part of paying them too.  But it never happens.  It seems like a secret that I'm not involved in.   

I ended up making him cry.  The ugliness came out.   Does it ever come out in you?